Monday, 26 September 2016
Free Flow: Essay: Compromise, Communication and Compassion
I know what you are thinking, but I swear I did not give in. There are certain things that are important to me - reading and reviewing and writing fiction and essays. I have compromised that I will not write about him, his family or us as long as we are together. I am okay with that because he is compromising on supporting my passion and he will try to read my stuff even when he doesn't get the appeal. We have decided that we will move in together (and alone) once he can make the commitment of getting a ring. I may be a feminist but to move in with someone I need to know there is some commitment. I don't want to be left alone holding the bag. As we live apart we have decided to compromise by taking turns seeing each other as he sees how much I had done in the past coming to him and stay at his place. The fact he acknowledged this and appreciates it makes it all worth the time in traffic and high gas prices, lol! The best part is that he wants to grow forward and we have set up a financial plan separate of our relationship. I don't know if things will continue like this - communicating, compromising, and being compassionate of the other person's feelings. But you have to forgive and give people chances.
It was Derek who strongly encouraged me to reconnect with my dad. Derek and I grew up in similar backgrounds, and so did my dad...you have to end the cycle somewhere. He pushed me to forgive and be compassionate to him and so I can do this for him...and give him a chance. I know some people will think we are being unrealistic...but I want to know I have done everything I could to be with the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life laughing with and collecting odd things only we love! This year has been about discovering myself and taking risks...if I don't keep you posted then you know things are good.